A Barrier Impeding Lifestyle Design for Us

live-without-fear

vive sin miedo by smeerch

 

So you wake up one morning, and it’s one of those mornings you hear that voice saying, “I hate Mondays, Mondays, Mond…” “I don’t want to go to work, but I gotta pay the bills.” “Every day is the same grind, over and over until Friday comes” and you start looking at the clock in the office “Four more hours, two more, 15 minutes” pheww…

Finally it’s the weekend! I don’t have to go in to work tomorrow, or get yelled at by my boss for the next two days. Sound familiar? Sounds like this guy needs lifestyle design.

My story was quite similar; nothing exciting, just the same routine lifestyle every week, except that instead of being a 9-5 it was a 9-9. It suckeddddddddddddd….

I don’t know what kept me going back the next day, certainly it wasn’t the money. At first it was fun. You know, new job, new boss, POSITIVE people, and all that good stuff that comes with a new job. After a while, it was just a grind.

Most of us dream of having the dream job right after college or building a business, but little do we know that we’re about to go through some tough shit.

We won’t have that dream job.

That business idea never comes to us.

We’ll have a ton of debt from college. (I have 24k.) If you didn’t know that, now you do.

And life won’t be as easy as we thought it was going to be.

You know what’s the great thing though? We CAN change all these assumptions and do the opposite of what we think life is going to be. You can have that dream job you’ve dreamed about-if you know the right strategies. Fighting debt doesn’t have to be hard, you just need to sell all your crap. And you can start an online business and start making thousands a month.

So why don’t we do it? The way I picture it is this way: you’re at a fork in the road, a road to your left and one to your right. One road is the Shitty Life and the other one is the Good Life. But one thing stops us from going either way and we stay at the fork. We get fearful and we start having doubts.

Fear

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s okay to have fear, it actually makes us human. Have you ever heard that big ass dude say he’s not afraid of anything? Trust me I bet he’s afraid of something; probably an itty-bity spider, but he’s afraid to say it. Oh he is afraid, isn’t he?

Most of us have something holding us back, some sort of fear. The mistake we make is letting it linger for too long, sometimes until it’s too late and then we kick ourselves and say “I wish I would have…bla bla blah”

What we need to do is realize that fear is good; yea sometimes it stops us from doing stupid things. But we should not always allow it to creep up and stop us from doing something that could change our life. You and I are human, we can’t be perfect, we will fail, we’ll get rejected, and that’s okay. But we shouldn’t let fear be the barrier to our success.

We need to beat our fear, once we do we see there wasn’t anything to be afraid of in the first place. I was afraid of roller coasters until I got on one. Now I love them. Lachlan was afraid of bungee jumping, look at him now.

Beating the “Oh another Monday”

I remember sometimes when I was a kid someone saying, “Kid, enjoy your life while you’re young, because once you become an adult, you need to get a job and pay bills and be responsible.” Man did life as an adult sound miserable. Yea I’m cool with the whole thing about paying your bills and stuff, but where in the hell did it say that life had to suck when you’re older?

My point here is that you don’t have to live Monday to Monday or from one 9-5 to another 9-5 all your life. Starting a business is possible nowadays more than before. But you need to start taking risks and confronting your fears. If you’re not afraid of next week being the same as this week, then you’re comfortable where you are. If you don’t have any goals written down, you are not challenging yourself.

What Lifestyle Design has to Offer?

Is lifestyle design for you? I don’t know. It might be, if you don’t want to keep dreading going into work everyday and counting the hours and minutes until your break or the end of the day.

The pros about lifestyle design: Ability to create a hands off online business that generates a part-time soon to be full-time income, ability to work anywhere (coffee shop, home, library, oversees,…etc…), freedom of time, ability to become a travel hacker, and the power to work as much as you want, not have to.

The cons:People think you’re crazy for thinking such things, and….I can’t think of any other ones.

If you don’t know anything about lifestyle design yet or think its a bunch of bologna or you just don’t trust Colombians, that’s fine just go ask some of my friends on the web:

Tim Ferriss from the four hour workweek, he’s basically the man when it comes to LD.

Pat Flynn from smart passive income, makes more money on the web than you can imagine

Corbet Barr from think traffic, built a lifestyle business in only 18 months

John Chow, designed his lifestyle through blogging

Naomi Dunford, will help you market your business, the best fucking way.

Robb Sutton, built a full-time income blogging about bicycles.

David Risley, who’s been doing it for 10 years now.

Chris Guillebeau, who travels the world and still is able do business in any corner of the world.

Sterling and Jay, who make a living teaching other how to make a living online.

What now?

Now is the time to decide whether you’re going to do something about it and challenge yourself and do bigger things, things that scare you, or keep living the shitty lifestyle. They don’t even have to scare you, they could be things you’ve just been putting off.

I challenge you today to go do just one thing. It can be something simple. For example, if you’re a blogger, go write that awesome guest post that’s going to grow your site’s audience by 100 readers. If you’ve been wanting to start blogging, go buy yourdomainname.com. If you’ve been wanting to get a raise or change jobs go do it, don’t live in fear anymore. If you’ve been wanting to travel around the world, don’t wait for retirement.

What’s your fear? Don’t be AFRAID to say it in the comments.

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Here’s what some entrepreneurs said about fear

heroic destiny

David Crandall

My fear is that I’ll reach the end of my life, look back, and regret. Seeing failures in my past doesn’t bother me that much (I’m old enough to be able to look back and see those now). But looking back and wondering what could have happened if I had done something…now that is a fearful thing.Failure? Phshh! Regret? Be very afraid. 😉

delel onibalusi
Dele Onibalusi
My only fear is the future, I don’t know what it will bring and I’m
always doing my best not to be controlled by it.
james schipper
James Schipper
The fear of failure is cliche because it’s the one everyone has!

Actually, I think more accurately, we have a fear of uncertainty. EVERYTHING would be easier if we could know the outcome in advance. There are all kinds of cliches about that:
“Hindsight is 20/20”
“If I only had a crystal ball”
“What would you try if you knew you could not fail?”
Those are sayings for a reason! The only thing we really don’t know is what is going to happen. It’s easy to know what has already come to pass. It already happened! It’s over now, so we know what happened.
Whether our business idea will take off, our blog will be ridiculed for it’s amateurish design, someone will call us names, or if we’ll get run down by a milk truck while crossing the street tomorrow are all things that could happen.
While we may not hide at home in fear of that milk truck gone rogue each day, we all have fears in one form or another. In most cases, the fear turns out worse in our heads, and never ends up as bad as our imaginations build them up.
And they are always related to that uncertainty about something. You can’t know everything. You can’t know the future. Make reasonable amount of preparation (you’ll never be 100% prepared), and just give it a go.
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Another quote popular for very good reason 😉
robb sutton
Robert Sutton
Fear of success can be just as debilitating. With success comes responsibility and accountability to others. You have to be ready and willing to take on those tasks as your dreams come true.

Why do we do things that we know won’t get us anywhere?

To be honest with you guys lately I’ve been lazy. I haven’t posted in forever; that’s obvious if you check the date on my last post. But you know what, it okay to be lazy sometimes. Even though I’ve been slacking tremendously, I’ve been putting a lot of time to one of my niche sites and it’s finally hit the second page of Google for one of the keywords that I’m trying to rank for.

I wasn’t even planning to make this post today, but since I feel so bad about not doing it, I figured I would start at least a post about why I’ve been so lazy. Actually, as I’m writing this post I’m also researching about why we humans are this way. Why we all want something, but we don’t do it. It’s a question that has been bugging me for days now and I figured if it’s screwing with my head, it might be with yours, too.

Why don’t we do things, even though want to do them?

Why do we? I know that when I write a post hundreds of people (I hope) will read it and benefit from in some way. I know that my blog will get more traffic, which equals more readers and once again hopefully more subscribers. But why is it so hard to just do it?

On the search for answering this question I found I wasn’t the only person that asked the same question. The problem isn’t lack of information, you and I know if we want to learn affiliate marketing we could read a book on it or get a course. There’s enough information about any topic out there in books and the web. We know what to do, but we still don’t do it.

Most times we just go ahead and do the opposite or keep doing exactly what we were doing. We keep writing posts that don’t entertain, engage or educate readers. We keep eating food that’s not healthy for us, and we invest hours into other shit that doesn’t grow our blog.

“To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.”–Mark Twain

Content is what matters in a blog, so why do I skip the most important element to a blog? What I found out can help me change that…

I criticize my work too much – I must be real with you guys, sometimes I delete or just leave full posts in queue and let them stay there for days. I finish writing a post and re-read it, then I start asking myself questions whether I think it’s a good post or not, and I second guess myself. I start thinking what people are going to think about the post. “This post sucks!”, “what a waste of my time”… These are all thoughts that cross my mind and fear kicks in of posting. It’s not good to be our own worst critics.

The instant gratification syndrome kicks in – I would rather write a short post in some article directory that I know is going to drive traffic to my niche sites and make me money than take half a day researching, writing, and editing a great post here for you. We all want what we want…NOW!!

What BJ Gallagher recommends we do – 5 Things we can do to change the habit

1. In my case it’s become a habit not to post very often, which is not what I want to do. I really wish I could post more often. By creating a habit of writing a paragraph to get my rolling or separating a time slot in the day dedicated to just writing can create a habit. Training myself with love can create a habit faster.

2. I’ve been using words in my vocabulary that don’t relate to action. By eliminating words like try, should, ought to can help me get rid of the negative vocab. Using more motivating words will create better results. Examples: “I’m going to write a post right now”, “people love reading my posts”

3. Sometimes I start thinking it needs to be a 1000 word Goliath post to add some value to you, but I’ve realized that a single link to an interesting article or tool can still be useful and simple to do. It’s starting that counts. By setting the goals much smaller I can guarantee myself success.

4. I know for a fact that not having a friend, coach, or mentor pushing me will not help me get at least a post a week. It’s a fact that if you have someone reminding you of your commitments, it helps. Don’t do it alone. Find someone willing to hold you accountable.

5. Finally, the last one, if not the most important. BJ Gallagher tells us that success is about progress, not perfection. Being a perfectionist myself, it’s hard to hear this, but it’s important that I know this so I can start moving in the right direction. From now on as I did with this post, I’ll write at least a sentence or a paragraph every day, and pat myself in the back and remind myself that I’m taking the right steps in the right direction. Remember that to get to the top of the building, you need to walk one step at a time, you don’t just jump to the tenth floor do you?

Obviously these are just a few reas0ns why our brains work in a certain way. Last I’m not the guy you want to get your advice about psychology from, I’m just restating things I’ve learned about why I do things according to psychology.

So now that you know I’ve been slacking, do you have any other advice or ideas to share about your own experience and how you have changed?

As I typically do at the end of each post, if you think this article helped you in some way, share it with others if you will, who knows it might help someone else too.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to share your own opinions on the comments section.

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Dick Fosbury didn’t follow the failure formula, will you?

I’m going to make this post short and sweet, just to give you a little motivation to start changing the rules in your life.

I was just skimming through The 4-Hour Workweek again for the 30th time and found this small piece of wisdom as I usually do when I re-read a book. In the Rules That Change the Rules chapter Tim starts by talking about how he became a Kickboxing champion by looking for “unexploited opportunities”.

Although he didn’t make a lot of people happy, he did it legitimately without cheating. He did the uncommon and he succeeded. This made me think about how we try to follow the rules and do what everyone wants us to do. We try to satisfy everyone hoping to succeed at whatever it is we’re doing.

“I can’t give you a surefire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” -Herbert Bayard Swope

The rules have been challenged in sports and in life, it’s up to us to find the opportunities to challenge the status quo. Remember you’re not going to get many happy looks, but what would you rather have? The get good grades-go to college-get a good job-retire lifestyle or something more exciting than that.

Here’s a good question from The 4-Hour Workweek that has helped me start living a better life the way I’ve always wanted to. Answer this yourself:

How has being “realistic” or “responsible” kept you from the life you want?

Look at what you’re doing NOW and ask, “If I did the opposite what could happen?” How will my life be in 10-20 years if I keep doing what I’m doing?

2 Factors That Stop you From Achieving the Lifestyle you Want

I don’t know how many people are chasing the location independent or lifestyle design life as some of us call it, but it seems like every day I find a new person coming aboard. I’m not trying to hate on them; that would make me a hypocrite. I actually love that more and more people are starting to realize that you can live the life you want to live, and do unconventional things. Can you handle the truth?

Can every one of us REALLY live the life they want to live?

No worries, there are people already doing it. It is possible and they’re showing us how to do it too. One of the biggest evangelists of doing what you love and getting paid for it has done all the tests for us. Tim Ferriss – author of The 4-Hour Workweek and now The 4-Hour Body doesn’t Bullshit, he actually does what he preaches and there’re people that back him up.

Here is the issue with a lot of us, including myself in 2010. We want the life but we don’t want to put in the work. You and I know that anything worth having takes effort and patience. Another issue is that we got all these GURUS, FAKE A#$, marketers trying to make false promises of making thousands in a couple of hours of work with no effort and getting results within days, sometimes minutes!

effort:
1. exertion of physical or mental power: “It will take great effort to achieve victory.”
2. an earnest or strenuous attempt: an effort to keep to the schedule.
3. something done by exertion or hard work: “I thought it would be easy, but it was an effort.”

patience:
1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

Those are some of the meanings of these two words that I found. If you’re not doing any of those two, you’re not striving towards the life you’ve been dreaming about.

Take these two giant words and put them in front of your computer or ingrain them into your brain if you can. Any time you feel you’re not achieving the success you expected, ask yourself

“how patient am I right now?” or “how much physical or mental power am I putting into this work?”

It’s good to sometimes just stop ask yourself these questions. To often we want it to be a smooth ride or a quick one. But it’s not!

Starting now you should stop looking for shortcuts and start making an effort and having patience if you want to get where it is you want to be in 2011. It’s not what you do today or at the end, but in the middle.

If you’re one of those people that’s gotten into lifestyle design or location independence and been sold BULLSHIT and stuff is not happening, it is time to realize you need to forget about that get-rich quick shit and start making the effort and having the patience to succeed.

photo by antwerpenR